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| "Summer and Winter" by Macarhign and displayed on Pxleyes.com |
Snow falls gracefully
Upon the wet and cold ground
A winter wonder
Land of the fallen angels
All unique marionettes
Dancing in the summer rain
Between the blues and greens
The gray sky fills up
Like an older photograph
White flashes, small ones
Capturing the black lens flare
In the background of pine trees
Dancing in the summer rain
Between the blues and greens
Silk sheets cover us
In ashes of joyful lace
Washing us in cold
But the warmth is what we sow
In a winter wonderland
Dancing in the summer rain
Between the blues and greens
I wanted to create a new kind of poetic form, and so I found that the Ballade and Tanka forms would be perfect for this experiment. There are three stanzas of five lines with
three couplets in this poem. The three main stanzas are written in traditional
Tanka style, while the couplets are an addition to complete the seven
line minimum requirement for a Ballade. Each of the couplets are
styled and flavored in the traditional ballade one line refrain, except that I modified the refrain to be a repetitive two liner. Please let me know what you all think about this. I would enjoy your feedback.
Kenn, I like your form. Your repeating couplets work very well. I like to work with repetition too. I think it is a very effective way of making a point. I also like the idea of sowing warmth in a winter wonderland.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary, I'm glad that the form worked out for you. It can get a little difficult when trying to create something new.
DeleteIt's a beautifully flowing poem...the image of the photograph captured me...as if we were delving in it and brining it to life
ReplyDeleteGood that the poem flowed well with the photograph. I was hoping that the symmetry was there.
DeleteThis could fit our weather lately. Great movement.
ReplyDeleteThanks for coming by to visit.
Yes, it has been cold and hot on and off all winter. Crazy weather, can't seem to make up its mind apparently.
DeleteKenn I really enjoyed the flow of this as well as we moved between 2 worlds...great image too
ReplyDeleteWhen I chose this picture I knew it matched the poem perfectly because where I live the winter can be exactly like this.
Deletesowing warmth in a cold land - that sounds like a good thing to do... a beautiful metaphor here
ReplyDeleteIt is definitely a wishful thought that is most desired during a cold night.
DeleteLovely. Once again, I've enjoyed the form you've struck upon. Your poetry is very visual - thus, I think, the old photograph reference . . . perfect!
ReplyDeleteI used the old photograph reference because it takes a keen eye to spot the details back in the day. The eye is the greatest camera ever known. Or so my photography teacher said.
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ReplyDeleteSilk sheets cover us
In ashes of joyful lace ... very cool Kenn
Thanks, glad you enjoyed reading it.
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